Advice for Parents of Children with Disabilities

Question: May Allah reward you with goodness, O our Shaykh. Is there any advice you could give to parents, especially mothers, who have children with illnesses or disabilities, such as children with autism? Some of them may find it difficult to accept what Allah has decreed for them. They may feel sad and struggle to be content with what Allah has written for them. What advice and guidance would you give them? Sheikh Daghash Al-Ajmi hafidhahullah: And peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. A Muslim must accept the decrees of Allah, the Most High. He seeks the reward for the trials that befall him and knows that whatever hardship or calamity afflicts him is from the decree of Allah, the Most High. He is pleased with it and submits to it, as Allah, the Most High, said: {ومن يؤمن بالله يهد قلبه} "And whoever believes in Allah, He will guide his heart." Some of the Salaf said: “It refers to a person who is afflicted by a calamity, so he knows that it is from Allah, and therefore he is pleased and submits.” When a person is pleased and submits to the command of Allah, the Most High, he finds comfort and tranquillity. One of these trials is that a person may be tested with a child who is ill or who has some kind of condition. He should accept this, praise Allah, be patient with this trial, and seek the reward from Allah. Secondly, he must care for this child and this person who is ill, seeking the reward from Allah through treating them well. A person does not know what may be the means by which he enters Paradise. This trial that he patiently endured, and the care he gave to his child, raising him well and fulfilling his responsibilities towards him, may be a means of raising his rank with Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, on the Day of Resurrection and entering Paradise. Therefore, a person must believe in Allah’s decree and predestination in all circumstances, believing that whatever Allah has decreed, whether good or bad, is from Him. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Know that whatever has befallen you could never have missed you, and whatever has missed you could never have befallen you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” I ask Allah, the Most High, by His Most Beautiful Names, to remove the trials from everyone who is afflicted. Another thing that can help is for a person to realise that if his child is afflicted with an illness, there are people who suffer from illnesses far more severe than that illness. He should look at those who are worse off than him—people who are unable to move, stand, eat, drink, or do other things—and then praise Allah, the Most High, that his child has been afflicted with an illness that is less severe than these illnesses. This is something that can make the illness easier for him to bear. Source: https://t.me/masjidsahabah/2415