Men's Benefits

Using Polygyny as a Disciplinary Measure Questioner: Since we are talking about wedding occasions, a brother asks: What is your opinion about someone who marries a second wife just to compete with others, or supposedly to discipline his wife? In most cases, this kind of marriage fails. Sheikh Uthaymin rahimahullah: As for having multiple wives — is it better to have more than one wife, or is it better to have…

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Riding the Storm After Polygyny Question: May Allāh grant you good, the questioner says: I am married to two women -mashā Allāh- however the problem -O Sheikh- is that when the first wife found out I married she declared war against me (i.e. she became extremely angry). And I do not want to divorce my new wife so what should I do? Sheikh Sāliḥ As-Suḥaimī hafidhahullah: Firstly, may Allāh reward you with good…

A wise father said: “Son, the first things you should seek in this world are a righteous wife and a righteous friend. You will find comfort in a righteous wife when you enter your home, and you will find comfort in a righteous friend when you leave your home to visit him.” https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbCSKCQCXC3Nv5OYUQ2q

Al-Mu‘allimī’s View on Marriage He rahimahullah writes: “As for marriage — and what can you truly say about marriage? — I cannot point you toward a specific choice, because in my own experience I have found that marriage contains both good and bad. Its good is the protection of one’s chastity and moral integrity. As for its bad: it brings many expenses, constant worries, and other difficulties. Women are somewhat…

One may assume that a sister from back home has not been exposed to liberal ideas. Today, this cannot be guaranteed. Social media exists everywhere. However, even if she has not been heavily exposed, it is difficult to predict how she will react if she later encounters those ideas in a different environment. This uncertainty should also be considered. Finances One observation I have made is that sisters from…

She understands: > The environment. > The social pressures. > The struggles of practicing Islam in the West. > The challenges of daily life. Because she has experienced similar circumstances herself, she may be able to provide more meaningful emotional support and practical advice. Mental Health and Emotional Support One observation I have made is that many sisters raised in the West seem to struggle more with: >…

A sister's perspective: Personal Reflections on Compatibility These are only general observations based on my own experiences and interactions. They are not absolute rules, and there are always exceptions. As it is said: "لكل قاعدة شواذ" The comparison assumes: > The brother is Salafī. > The sister is Salafī. > The brother was raised in the West. I personally believe that, in many cases, a brother raised in the…

‼️ Also, back home many outwardly desirable traits - hijab, staying home, obedience to parents - are enforced by the environment. In the West, if those traits exist, she had to fight for them. That’s why the brother in your quote said a Western Salafī sister has “already passed tests”. The risk is: not all Western sisters have, and many can relapse (especially if they are newly practicing). The ones who haven’t…

A brother writes: Many practicing sisters from the West have been practicing less than a few years, and as we known from the Sunnah, every action has an initial zeal - and this zeal can also burn out. Here are some general observations (this is not a broad-sweeping praise of women back home, but if you were to compare the average woman from back home, especially from more conservative societies like Yemen vs. The…

A brother writes: Western sisters often choose to be highly religious despite their environment, whereas many sisters back home are raised in environments where religiosity is socially accepted, encouraged, and sometimes even expected. As a result, being practising in the West often requires a level of conviction, resilience, and willingness to go against the norm that simply isn’t tested in the same way…

Virginity Is Not Always Lost Through Zinā Another reason some men prefer to marry from back home is due to the fear that sisters who go through the hypersexualised public schooling system in the West are exposed to many fitan, and that very few come out of it unaffected. While this may be true to some extent, a common misconception among some men is that the absence of blood on the bedsheet on the first night is…

Preparing for Marriage in a Hypersexualised Society I remember it as though it were yesterday. During one of the general lessons in Dammaj, someone sent a note to Sheikh Yaḥyā requesting that he begin teaching Tuḥfat Al-ʿArūs—a comprehensive guide covering matters related to marriage, including the rights of spouses and marital relations. The Sheikh's response regarding studying the finer details of marital…

I hope I was clear and you got the message, and maybe you can add some things more. Please send a warning out to the brothers and sisters of the community. I have the impression this isn’t stressed enough. The aftermath is grave indeed, I ask Allaah to forgive me and the ummah of Muhammad peace be upon him to forgive us for our mistakes, and to grant us tawbatanasuha. Because indeed, when Allaah and his Messenger…

▪️My eyesight started to deteriorate. My vision became very weak. At the age of 22, I had to wear glasses. And a times my eyes kept releasing milky liquid-like tears. ▪️I used to memorize the Quran. In fact I memorized more than half of it. But within no time, I lost everything. ▪️My memory started to decrease. I used to be bright and intelligent in class, but I became stupid. My thoughts were crazy and…

Overcoming Porn Addiction Enquiry: How does one overcome porn addiction? Here is some practical advice which I hope will be beneficial: 1⃣. Marriage The scholars mention that marriage is generally recommended. However, in the case of one who fears falling into haram, marriage becomes obligatory. If this is the ruling regarding someone who merely fears falling into sin, then what about the one who is already…

The Importance of Foreplay Nothing more needs to be said other than: Don't be that guy ⤵️ A sister's complaint: "There's a hadith that worries me. It says that if a husband calls his wife to bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until morning. I've been married for some years, and my husband struggled with a pornography addiction for many years. It was very difficult for our marriage and for me, but…

Money and Manhood in Polygyny Polygyny is not simply about a man's desire to marry more than one woman. It is also a test of his ability to lead, provide, and fulfil his obligations with dignity. One of the uncomfortable realities is that some men pursue a second marriage without possessing the financial independence required to sustain it. A man who uses welfare benefits or public assistance as the primary means…

Character Over Charm Marry a woman who will protect your dignity even when she is hurt. A woman who covers your faults and guards your private matters regardless. One who understands that marriage is built on trust and that exposing private struggles to the public rarely heals what is broken. Do not marry a spiteful woman who turns marital problems into lasting scars by using secrets, weaknesses, and malicious…

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Male Hygiene & Grooming Ikhwah, one of the keys to making marriage strong and boosting the relationship between you and your wife is mutual cleanliness and grooming. Both husband and wife need to take care of their bodies, clothes, and overall appearance—especially when they're at home together. Islamic teachings are full of advice about bodily cleanliness: bathing, brushing teeth, wearing perfume, fixing hair,…

Your spouse's response is essentially: «"Do whatever you want."» Years pass. Conclusion: FLIGHT ❌ Why? One person can improve a relationship. One person cannot sustain it indefinitely. --- Scenario 9: Financial Disaster One spouse makes a major financial mistake that harms the family. The damage is real. However, they take responsibility, disclose everything, create a recovery plan, and work with you to fix…